There is a key fundamental difference between knowing what you should be doing and actually doing it. This sounds so obvious, I’m sure. But as academics, we’re really good at reading up on what we should be doing, what the best practices are, what the evidence suggests. We know what we should be doing. But so often we’re not doing it.
I have a bunch of ideas about why this is, and they mostly boil down to this:
1) It’s really hard to change our habits
2) We’re driven by our feelings more than we recognize
3) We’re intellectual, so we think that knowing is the same as doing/feeling
4) What works for someone else doesn’t always work for you
When we begin to recognize a pattern that’s not working (hello, I feel crappy most mornings!) we can begin to change it. But this takes a lot of trial and error, because the things that work for me are not universal. It’s a process to figure out what works for you, and to fine tune it so it keeps working (and spoiler alert… what works can change over time). When we begin to recognize how our feelings are driving our habits and behaviors, and we can get a handle on recognizing the circumstances and thoughts that lead to those feelings, we can be more purposeful in how we approach our days (time/energy/workflow/tasks).
The difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it is huge.
You won’t feel different or change anything until you actually DO IT. And this is key—you need to do it in a way that works for you. It’s the only way it will work!! Fitting yourself into someone else’s paradigm may work for a bit, but for long term sustainable change you need to find your own path. So here are a few suggestions for working toward actually doing what works for you:
1) Go where your energy is
2) Know what your most important values and goals are
3) Even out your emotional reflexes (find a consistent base from which to work in a non-reactive way—this comes from knowing your core plan and feeling comfortable sticking to it)
4) Figure out how to be adaptable to adjust to your own needs/energy/workflow
5) Start observing your thoughts and feelings to begin to track down where the negativity comes up and the inner critic (or negative voice) is stuck in a loop
6) Identify the patterns where your inner voice is on a cycle that’s not helping you or is making you feel overwhelmed/exhausted/angry/sad/uncomfortable
7) Investigate this voice and what it’s saying. Where is this coming from? Do you agree with it?
8) Know that you don’t have to listen to that voice. It’s really persistent, and comes back regularly, so this is a practice and a work in progress. But relief from this voice is worth it.
9) If it’s helpful to you, you can investigate the causes of this voice further (e.g., talking with family or friends, finding a therapist). But know that you don’t have to work through all the skeletons in your closet to make progress on this front. You can address how you’re feeling right now, and what’s standing in your way right now, without having to review your whole history. That history is part of you, but it may not be a part that is serving you right now. Sticking to the present moment and recognizing that these are thoughts about your past or your relationships or your future worries can help—right now you’re ok, and your thoughts are getting in the way of you being productive and feeling good.
10) Waiting for motivation is a red herring. Don’t follow it. Don’t wait. Motivation comes after you do the work. Seriously. It’s paradoxical, but it works.